Traumatized.

It's all a blur now.
But I can still hear the echoes of the screams in my head.
I'm on the verge of tears, knowing it was all my fault.
I can't deny it.
My hands were shaking, my heart was pounding,
So I called the cops.
Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was right.
I don't know, because I just can't talk about it.
I'm torn, I feel like I have to choose which story to follow.
So, I'm staying out of it completely.
I keep replaying it over and over in my head,
And every time something seems to change.
Me? Him? Her?
I can't remember,
It's all a blur.
I wish I could just forget,
But I won't.

What Happened To Us?

Lost and lonely

Alone in this pathetic place

That we call home

What happened to us?

We used to be so strong

Knowing all along, it wouldn't last

Now it's just the past

All the evidence is burned

Only a lesson is what we've learned

What happened to us?

You said you were close to the egde

I said jump, I'll catch you

I'll never let you fall

When knowing all along,

I wasn't strong enough

I'll never be good enough

You know who I was

We both know who I am

I know who I want to be

I want to be like you

What happened to us?

Only you know

Tell me what to do

I'm lost and lonely

In this pathetic place..

This Song

This Song
It brings back flooding memories
From my haunting past
Memories I buried away a long time ago
Why do they keep coming back?
I promised myself I will never be that person again
And I won't
Not now, Not ever.
I will never hurt a person like that again
People I love, People I care about so much
Carelessly cutting them open
Tugging at their hearts
In the wrong ways
This Song
It pops into my head
Takes me back to that place
Like a knife to my heart
That place of darkness
That place of insecurity, lies, depression
Depression will never control me again
HE took that away some time ago
And it's never coming back
This Song
Won't control me anymore.

The Great Epiphany

Sometimes when I'm alone
In the quiet, in the dark
I have time to think,
Time to reminisce
I think about the night
I replay the things you said
The things you did
I take those words, those motions
And I twist them in to something they're not
Something negative, that you never meant at all
Your intentions were innocent
But my mind is free to think
In the quiet, in the dark
Once I replay the night over and over
I come to The Great Epiphany
You no longer care

My New Family (:

The wedding was amazing.
Crystal looked soooo beautiful and happy!
My dad sang to her, and made everyone cry.
A happy cry (:
It was alot shorter than I thought it would be..
And I cried at the reception more than the actual wedding!
It was a very emotional day,
For everyone.
Our family did our dance that we've been practicing.
The hoedown throwdown.
Woohoo!
But yeah..
Everyone looked amazing, and I'm very happy that it's over.
My parents are in Las Vegas now on their Honeymoon (EWWW.)
Anyway,
It was an amazing day and I'm excited to start my new life!

Who you were, and who you're becoming

Life has changed you.
The way you think, look, and act
You're mind is strangled by so many thoughts
That are leading you in different directions
They're all wrong
Don't listen to the voices,
Saying it's okay
It's not okay, and I'm losing you
You're losing yourself
You're losing sight of HIM
The Way, The Truth, The Life
You're headed the wrong way
The person you're becoming is not who I once loved
I'm losing sight of you
I'm losing my grip
Soon you'll be on your own

Love

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most
Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside
Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you
Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time
Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don't
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you
When my heart won't make a sound
When I can't turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this
Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life
Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you
-Brandon Heath